


Half of All Life means Half of All Life

by CheyanneChika



Series: GO/MCU are totally in the same 'verse. [3]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Crack, Depressing, Eventual Happy Ending, Gen, M/M, Maudlin, Mayhem, Sad Crowley (Good Omens), Snake Crowley (Good Omens), Specifically imgoingtocrash's raccoon, raccoons - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2020-10-06 22:44:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20514725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheyanneChika/pseuds/CheyanneChika
Summary: Goose eats a raccoon.  Crowley would find this hilarious if not for the fact that Aziraphale wasn't there to bluster and wail.





	Half of All Life means Half of All Life

**Author's Note:**

  * For [zessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zessa/gifts), [imgoingtocrash](https://archiveofourown.org/users/imgoingtocrash/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Cat-Sitting](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18807136) by [imgoingtocrash](https://archiveofourown.org/users/imgoingtocrash/pseuds/imgoingtocrash). 

> I wanna thank imgoingtocrash for loaning me a plot device and zessa for hounding me to use it.

In a cabin in New York, Goose ate a raccoon. It was a normal raccoon. Well, no. It was a raccoon of higher intelligence than many, though not as smart as Rocket. That said, she was clever enough to get in and out of the human cabin.

But not clever enough to identify the flerkin that ate her.

And now she was dripping like she'd fallen in the river only warmer, stickier. 

She was still indoors but it wasn't the same indoors. This place smelled dry, empty. There was no food here. She shook herself. There was little to no effect and yet she had to press on, find a way out. This place was light, a beam of sun gleamed into the room and yet that air was laden with thick debris.

She sneezed. Again and again.

She shook herself once more and started exploring. This place was warm, despite its emptiness. She could feel safe here someday, perhaps.

Finding a wooden post, she climbed up to a flat surface laden with human rectangles, thin and thick. The thin ones tore and fluttered in the air as her paws scrabbled against them. The thicker ones only moved a little. She pushed one too hard and it fell with a thunk to ground.

There was a sudden hiss. She froze stiff. Waiting, listening, sniffing very delicately. She knew that sound. And it was louder and deeper than she normally heard when she crossed paths with the snakes.

The hiss came again. Closer now.

_"This is not your place. Get out."_

She may not have understood exactly what the snake, who was far bigger than she'd ever seen before, said, but she knew a threat to get out of territory. 

She fled.

Or tried to.

She knocked over human things and crawled up other ones, in search of escape. She saw the dark bulk on the ground and leapt from human branch to human branch. There! She saw the outside world. There were human circles to turn to escape. She dropped down and stood on hind paws to grip the openers.

They wouldn't turn. She was starting to get frantic.

"Calm down." That was a human voice. And then a human was picking her up by her scruff. His eyes were not human. They were like the snake. She should be scared. She should fight, play dead, do anything but stare back in fascination.

"This would've been hilarious, watching you tear up the place while he panics and blusters 'cuz he won't...wouldn't have hurt you." A dry sob emerged from his lips. "But he's gone and I can't follow. I can't even bloody find him!"

She stared back, letting the words wash over her. He set her down and then there was human circle in front of her. "Raccoons eat everything right?" Then the lovely smell of berries filled her nostrils as they appeared in the circle.

She did not hesitate, only ate vociferously. Crowley might have smiled.

...

Aziraphale returned to the shop as if he'd never left. He was sitting at his desk. A desk that appeared to have been mauled, covered in several inches of dust, only broken up by paw prints and thick lines that were obviously Crowley sliding along. "What on earth?" he asked aloud. 

There was a panicked scrabbling sound and then a raccoon was staring at him in terror. 

Aziraphale's eyes widened to match the creature's. He reached out to miracle it away when it turned tail and ran. He pushed himself up to chase it.

"Come back here, you!" he cried, quick-stepping after it onto the salesfloor.

If he'd been human, he would have choked on the thick, cloying, dust-filled air. What had happened? He hadn't even been gone that long...where had he been? He'd felt himself going. Felt Crowley's growing panic as he reached for his angel.

But that had only been seconds ago and Crowley was--

Right there, shifting from snake to demon in an instant. "What, in Heaven's name, is going on here?" he asked, tone overly blustery.

Crowley just stared. Without the shades, his demonic eyes, so expressive without the shades to hide them, were more pupil than iris as they drank Aziraphale in. "You're here," he rasped.

"I was hardly gone a moment."

Crowley reached out and touched him. "Five yearssss," he hissed. "It's been five years."

It was Aziraphale's turn to widen his eyes. "But..." He considered very carefully what needed saying here. Five years was a long time for a human but they weren't human. Crowley was upset. He wasn't sure what to do. "I"m sorry love. Though we have gone five years without seeing each other before. What's happened?"

Crowley bit his lip. "Not since we...we got...Hell." He closed the gap between them, mashing their lips together for less than a second before sliding over his jaw to rest on the side of his neck as he pulled the angel into a fierce embrace. "Half of everything was gone. It was the most evil thing that could be done and Hell wasn't responsible. They suffered too. And heaven."

"Wait, what?" Aziraphale asked, confusion making anything else seem too complicated.

"Gabriel came down to find out what you'd done. He leveled this place. I fixed it but then the raccoon got in and I just...I couldn't." The bony arms tightened around Aziraphale's torso.

"It's all going to be alright now," Aziraphale tried to say comfortingly. His hands pressed soothingly along Crowley's back and sides. 

Crowley sniffed loudly and started to pull away. The angel wasn't having that, shifting his hands to grip him. Their eyes met and then lips again. "I missed you. I kept waiting for you to show up in someone else's body but you never did."

"I'm here now, love," Aziraphale whispered.

Crowley started to sob.

Then the raccoon knocked over his the platform Crowley used for sunning. "As soon as that raccoon is dealt with." And yet, he still made no move to let go.

Crowley gave a wet laugh. "I think the portal's moved. You...we...I've been getting things from a house or from outside instead of from an army base."

"A raccoon showed up and you didn't just send it back home?"

Crowley shrugged. "Was nice."

The raccoon vanished. Whether it was Aziraphale or the portal, Crowley never knew.

The raccoon was less than pleased to be wet and sticky again. Morgan's excited shrieks had her scrambling out the cat door and into her old woods again. Never again, was she going into that house. No matter how lovely their garbage was.


End file.
